The Many Lives Theory

We’re the builders, the 10-year life, and 3 core requirements

TLDR: We’re the builders, and capable of living many lives over many decades. But to do so, we have to identify, order, and commit to what we want to experience.

I’ve had an idea floating around in my head for a while, but never really gotten it on “paper.” I’m also someone who thinks more clearly when I write or when I talk out loud to reason through my ideas. That is to say, I’m someone who speaks to think instead of the other way around. So I’m going to take a stab at something I refer to internally as my “many lives theory.”

In the many lives theory, there are three components: 1) We’re the Builders, 2) The 10-Year Life, and 3) The 3 Core Requirements.

We’re the Builders

It starts with the notion that we are not just one person, with one predefined path, or one specific calling, but instead, we are builders, and as builders, we can do or create anything we choose.

Think of sandcastles.

We build sandcastles—both literally and figuratively.

These sandcastles can be anything.

They can be your personal community of friends, your physical home, the careers you attempt, the hobbies you explore, or the works of art or content you create.

Like sandcastles, the endeavors are imperfect. Their fortitude are tested, and their lifespans are fragile.

Sandcastles are infinite games and fleeting moments. They can always grow larger and more complex, and yet their existence can just as easily be erased.

So what if we approached our lives as builders, with this in mind?

• How many sandcastles would you build?

• Would you rebuild a tiny sandcastle over and over, or would it grow into a sandcastle empire?

• Would you build something unique with each attempt, or would you endlessly work to perfect the original?

I don’t think there are right answers, but instead, believe in an internal and individual identity that answers these questions for us. Maybe this is what we refer to as a gut feeling, or maybe it’s our brain chemistry and DNA that decide what we gravitate toward and how we choose to spend our time.

Regardless, the many lives you live or dream of living should naturally align with who you are.

The 10-Year Life

Go to school, get a job, find a partner, build a family, grow old, and experience the world along the way.

This is the linear life.

But what if in addition to the linear life you added the lens of the 10-year life?

The 10-year life is about the versions of yourself that you wonder about—who you are, who you want to be, what you could have become, and so on.

Maybe it’s exactly who you are today, or maybe it’s an alter ego, a different profession, another way of life, a different destination, or even a physical manifestation of your personality.

These are the many lives.

The many lives you could have or still might live.

The versions of yourself that excite you, or the ones that live in fantasy and feel out of reach as life takes you in different directions.

But if this is too abstract, here are some versions of Jeff I think about from time to time:

• Baseball Jeff… the competitive and committed athlete

• Professional Jeff… the employee, the salesperson

• Venture Jeff… the venture capitalist and builder

• Adventure Jeff… the ski bum

• Breakfast burrito bar owner Jeff… the beachfront breakfast shop owner

• Family Jeff… the son, uncle, father, husband

Maybe there are some more wild ones too, but you get the idea.

What I’ve come to believe is that you can in fact work on all of your many lives all of the time if you so choose; however, in order to fully reach your potential, you have to consider each one as at least a 10-year commitment. And of course there are exceptions, but 10 years is a flag to plant.

That is, for something to be written on your resume of life and to become part of your identity, you need to commit for long enough that you not only plant the seeds and develop mastery, but so the compound returns of your time can reach a meaningful impact as a chapter in your life.

The 3 Core Requirements

Part of my many lives theory is that we have three core responsibilities:

1. We must identify the many lives we want to live

2. We must create a logical order to ensure harmony

3. We must be willing to take risk & commit

Identifying the Lives

This part is actually quite simple. It doesn’t require any constraints over what’s possible or any plan on how to get there.

These lives likely already exist somewhere in your mind, but have never become a reality for the simple reasons that you don’t think it’s possible, it’s a good idea, or it’s very realistic.

But if you aspire to minimize regrets and realize your potential—regardless of whether or not you follow-through—you must still take a first action if you want to move something from impossible to possible.

In identifying your many lives, the first action is simply to brainstorm and list the many lives you might want to live.

Creating a Logical Order to Ensure Harmony

In order to actually live your many lives, I think it’s important to have a logical order.

For example, if you want to travel the world with a backpack, you may find it hard to do with zero savings. Or if you want to retire on a remote island at 60, it may be hard to do if you still have children in elementary school.

My belief is that sequencing the lives can unlock a freedom that those who haphazardly order them can only dream of, and are otherwise restrained by.

Taking Risks and Committing

Ultimately, it’s up to you what you want your life to look and feel like while you’re living it and when you’re looking back on it.

Perhaps “taking risk” is an obvious one, but I think “committing” is the overlooked part.

Persisting is half the battle.

In the moments of risk-taking, when you’re downshifting and trusting that you’ll accelerate again, we all experience fear & uncertainty, but few discuss it openly. I think that’s one reason Steve Jobs’ infamous commencement speech landed so deeply for so many.

You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. - Steve Jobs

And maybe that’s at odds with ordering your many lives, but I would argue that not manifesting those dreams in the first place is the greater risk.

So if you can trust in something, in yourself, that will be the thing that unlocks your commitment. Instead of committing to the risk you’re taking, you’re committing to yourself, to proving yourself right, and to minimizing regrets.

Taken together, we’re the builders who are capable of living many lives over many decades, so long as we identify, order, and commit to what we want to experience.

See you Monday.