TLDR: If you’ve set truly ambitious goals, you might feel a bit delusional thinking something so crazy is actually possible. To help manage, reframe the experience and use the grateful flow to shift your mindset.
Thinking about what to write this week, three ideas came to mind: updates on 2023 goals, delusion, and the grateful flow. As I started to write, I realized they could all be linked, so I’m going to thread the needle today on the things in my head.
Starting with an update on 2023 goals…
In my first posts of the year I shared what I was going to be working on. Here’s how we’re doing so far:
13/31 goals completed. Not bad for 6 weeks. The highlights include…
Privately publishing my new book—we already have 200 copies pre-sold and the new cover design is below
Booking a spontaneous ski trip and backcountry tour—thankful to have friends who live in ski towns who are willing to host me!
Crossing three books off the reading list including Livewired and Life 3.0
Planning a weekend trip to surprise my nephews for their birthdays!
The big stuff will take time. Figuring out a Misogi challenge (snow camping anyone?!), expanding our investor network (including visiting 4 cities in 5 days last week), recording a podcast, and looking for a property all feel like big hills to climb. But what do we think about this new book cover?!
Delusion
Speaking with a senior leader of a large financial institution last week about those who dare to dream big, we arrived at the idea that people need to be at least a little bit delusional to accomplish great things. That is both delusional when they set out on the journey and delusional along the way to keep going.
It’s not an impressive feat if the work itself is easy. And I don’t mean impressive to others, I mean impressive to yourself. Only you know what you’re capable of, how hard you can push yourself, how disciplined you can become, or how long you can persist.
I see this with founders every single day.
They’ve left jobs making comfortable six-figure salaries. At first everyone is supportive of the ambition, but as time passes the doubts creep in. Why are you doing this to yourself. What about the opportunity cost. What if you fail. The questions go on, but they soon realize it’s not others asking them, it’s themselves. It’s imposter syndrome. Anxiety. Worry. Fear.
In these moments it’s important to replace what can be perceived as delusion with its counterpoint and inverse framing. For example, you might replace this first bullet with the second:
“I could’ve made $200K the past two years instead of making nothing and burning my savings, and I have no idea if this thing is even going to work.”
“I am giving this 100%. Not what other people think (my) 100% is, but my true 100%, giving it everything I have to learn what I am capable of. If I don’t, I will regret it the rest of my life.”
The second thing to do is surround yourself with people who understand the plight. As a founder it’s surrounding yourself with other founders—particularly those as the same stage and a few stages ahead. And if it’s a personal endeavor, a similar support system is helpful too. I’m not talking about people who are verbally supportive, I’m talking about the people who have been there before and who truly know what you’re going through and trying to accomplish.
And the third thing to try when you’re worn down and burnt out is called The Grateful Flow.
The Grateful Flow
I’ve written about gratitude quite a few times, and some of you may even remember Chipper: The Happiness Journal, but I stumbled onto a new gratitude practice in the documentary Stutz that I re-watched as part of my 2023 goals, and I think it’s worth sharing.
You can watch the actual video here, but I’ll give a brief description for now:
Start by closing your eyes and taking a few breaths
Calmly begin to list 3-4 things out loud that you’re grateful for
Ideally they are small things—applying a huge force to something tiny
Go slowly, spend time with the thing you’re recognizing
Before you say the 5th one, stop yourself—block it from happening
Notice the grateful flow you’ve created, you’ll naturally feel the urge to continue, but by holding back you’ll achieve a palpable and positive force of gratitude from within
I always think it’s quite cool when a little trick like this works in shifting your mindset. Another super easy one to do is simply look up at the sky. Your dopamine response will be triggered and you will notice a different sensation looking up than if you’re looking down.
Sometimes it’s the little things.
So if you’ve set truly ambitious goals, it’s no wonder you might feel a bit delusional at times. Make sure to reframe the experience and use tools to shift your mindset.
See you Monday.